Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Be thankful

At this time of Thanksgiving, it’s easy to be thankful for the great food, loving family, or other obvious blessings in our lives. Let’s not forget the little blessings, too. In this world of mass media, there is so much focus on the negativity in our country, but there is so much to be thankful for. Be thankful that we have food to eat and a place to live. Be thankful that we are at peace on our home turf. Be thankful that we have the freedom to be thankful, to protest, to want lower taxes, to want higher taxes, to paint our hair purple. As much as we tend to dislike about our existence, we still have it pretty good. Even those who have very little still have much more than some do in other parts of the world. True, there is always room for improvement, but if we try, each one of us can find something to be thankful for, both personally and as a citizen of our nation.

If you are more fortunate than something else, make a point over the next few weeks to do something generous and kind for someone who is in need. Don’t impose your personal values on the situation. Don’t do it for the recognition or praise you’ll get. Don’t even tell anyone you are doing it! Just do it for the love of it.

On this Thanksgiving, be thankful for the big things, but be thankful for the little things, too! They mean a lot, and it’s easy to overlook them. Here is a prayer, adapted from something I heard on TV once:
For food in a world where many walk in hunger,
For faith in a world where many walk in fear,
For comfort in a world where many walk in pain,
For friends in a world where many walk alone,
We give you thanks, God,
For all of the many blessings we share this day.
Amen

Friday, November 18, 2011

When you see something you don’t like in others, take a look in the mirror

Many years ago, I heard an expression, “looking through a glass (or mirror) darkly.” It comes from the Bible, and it always confused me. The language was cryptic, and it didn’t make sense to me. Life taught me a lesson this week that made me realize how much sense it really makes.

We all know someone who gets on our nerves in one way or another. Their habits, their mannerisms, their passive-aggressive behavior, their excessive niceness, or any of a million other characteristics can trigger a nerve within us, sometimes unexpectedly. I have noted this experience in dealing with a number of people over the years. Normally I get along with people pretty well, but occasionally, there is someone who just rubs me the wrong way. In some cases, after I got to know them better, we ended up being good friends. In other cases, well, they just kept annoying me. It isn’t nice to say, but it is true.

I think we all go through this at some time or another, some of us more than others. Perhaps it is a natural defense mechanism in us that is meant to help protect us from potential harm – that “red flag” that goes up when something isn’t quite right, and we need to be aware. The tricky part sometimes, is figuring out what we need to be aware of.

Lately, I have been observing some struggles in a community of folks that I know, where one person’s wishes and desires, expressed out of enthusiasm, or at least good intentions, has had an adverse affect on others around them. Because this involves a group of people, it’s interesting to see the same dynamic happening in multiple directions. The people involved have good ideas, and may be looking toward the same goal, but the differences in the path that each one wants to take causes resistance in the others. In the end, it ends up being a battle of right and wrong, when in fact, it was neither. It was just different ways of achieving the same thing.

We all have an ego. It’s part of what makes us unique individuals. It’s perfectly ordinary and natural, until we try to impose that ego on others. We can’t make other people behave or act the way we want them to. We all have responsbility for our own path. In this case, the two paths were nearly identical, but each journey had enough ego worked into it to cause people to dislike the other’s methods. It’s sort of sad. And sadly, they have a lot of working out to get things where they need to be.

What is even sadder, is that in observing this, I have noticed some of the same things in myself in my dealings with other people. It’s easy to focus on what I want, even if I am choosing to see it as being for the greater good of all. On a recent occasion, someone pointed out their observations to me, indicating that I have done this, and how it affected their perception of a situation I was involved in. What I want is not necessarily what is what someone else wants or needs. Maybe that’s why it’s so annoying when I see other people doing the same thing. I see elements of them in myself. Why am I annoyed? Because I’m taking the other person’s actions personally.

I think that’s what they meant by seeing through a glass darkly. When we observe a situation, our perspective is clouded by our own ego, our own expectations, our own values and opinions. We aren’t really seeing what is true, we are seeing a reality we have created for ourselves. Think about when you look out a window, especially in the evening when it’s getting dark. You can see through the glass, but the glass also acts like a mirror. Not only are we seeing what is on the other side of the glass, we are also seeing a reflection of ourselves superimposed on what we are looking at. We have trained our eyes to ignore the reflection and focus on what’s on the other side, but the reflection is still there, and our minds still see it.

Have you ever tried to take a photograph of something framed in glass? We see the picture or artwork clearly, but when you look at the photograph you took, you can see a reflection of yourself taking the picture, or other objects that were around you at the time the picture was taken. You didn’t see it when you were taking the picture, but it’s plain as day when you look at the photo when it’s printed out.

This is how we look at life. And the way life looks at us. Our attention is so focused on what we think we are looking at, we aren’t noticing the part of ourselves that we are superimposing on the situation. Sometimes we are looking with such intent at what we are looking that we completely miss the fact that life is trying to teach us what not to do. We don’t tend to see our own faults. Sometimes it takes another person’s situation or observation to make us recognize the things that we do the same way. Only then can we be aware enough to change them.

So if you find someone annoying you, think about what it is they are doing that is getting on your nerves. Are they being pushy? Think about what ways you may have acted that that is causing such a vivid reaction to their actions. Maybe they are that way because they have let others push them around in the past. Maybe you did too. Are they being passive-aggressive? In what ways might you be passive-aggressive, or appear that way to others?

These are just examples. It can be a real smack in the face when we realize the unexpected and far-reaching impact of our actions. It may not always be that we actually acted that way, but it might be something we are doing that causes people to see us that way. Or maybe we really act that way, and we just don’t realize what other people are seeing in us. Either way, our sub-conscious mind is sensitive to it – sensitive enough to trigger a reaction in us. Our objective mind can see things more clearly than our subjective thoughts, and it’s trying to get our attention.

Life has a way of showing and teaching us what we need to know, and sometimes it comes to us in unexpected ways. It’s up to us to pay attention and learn from these things. So pay attention! More importantly, don’t take things personally. Each of our actions is our own responsibility, and when we take on responsibility for others’ actions by getting angry, worried or upset, we are only causing harm to ourselves. It isn’t the other person’s fault that we react the way we do. It is our choice to react that way, and we can choose to react differently.

When you see something you don’t like in others, recognize that reflection of yourself in the situation. Take the time to understand why you are choosing to feel the way you do, then react with love, and thank them for the valuable lessons they have taught you! Use the situation to make positive changes in your experience, and the experiences of those around you.

Blessings…

For now we see through a mirror darkly; but then face to face. Now I know in part; but then I shall know even as also I am known (I Corinthians 13:12).

Friday, November 11, 2011

So many elevens, so little time

Okay, it’s November 11, 2011. 11/11/11. Is it just a date, or does it mean something more? It’s hard to say, and I’m not sure I have the answers, but it is far too tempting to pass up as a topic for a lesson to be learned. Somehow, seeing all those ones together creates fascination in our minds. It must mean something!

Eleven has a great significance in Numerology, the study of numbers. Every number has a significant role in the cycle of our lives. Eleven is a number that has a special spiritual significance. With all these elevens, today must really be a special day!

I’ve blogged about the whole 2012 thing and what it means – not the end of the world, but a shift in spiritual consciousness. Numerologically, 2012 is a 5 energy – an energy of change. Isn’t that what people are expecting in one form or another? Maybe 11/11/11 is a sign of this change. Don’t forget that 2012 is only 51 days away, and it’s just about a year until the Mayan calendar cycle ends (The beginning of the end?…nah!). November 11 also marks Veteran’s Day, originally Armistice Day, a holiday celebrating the end of the first World War. This was end of a nightmare that was never supposed to happen again. It was a shift in consciousness, where the energy of war was replaced by an energy of peace and regrowth. That the war ended on November 11, makes it more significant. Numerologically, November 11, 1918 was also a 5 energy – that of change. Composed of two elevens in the date, it signifies a significant spiritual change. Significant enough that we’re still celebrating it 93 years later!

Enough about Numerology. The past few days, I have been feeling the need to write, but have had an empty feeling of not knowing what to express or how to express it. A lot has been changing around me. Changes at my job. Changes at my church. Changes in the world. Exciting events going on for which there is little time to prepare. Neither good changes, nor bad, but changes just the same. With these changes comes an energy, mostly good, which has been building up inside, but no way to release it, because there are no words to express it. Maybe it was the approach of this date: the build-up of that energy that needed to go through that process to express itself.

Now I feel I must honor the occasion, lest it pass unspoken. And as a result, here I ramble. Does November 11 mean anything? In a way, it means a lot, in other ways, not much at all. On one hand, it’s just a date. On the other, it’s a symbol of our outlook on our life and the world around us. Look at Occupy Wall Street. It is a grass roots movement which, like the energy of 11/11/11, has built up to the point where people needed to express themselves. They couldn’t wait any longer for the people they depended on to look out for them, so they acted on their own, and it has gotten lots of attention.
Look at Penn State. Same type of energy in a different way: people deciding that enough inaction is enough, and doing something about it. With explosive results.

Look at the European economy. Again, people deciding that enough inaction is enough, and leaders stepping down as a result.

Is it just a coincidence that it’s all happening now? I don’t believe in coincidences. In a way, I think they are all connected by a general need and desire to welcome change – the thing we usually resist most. I think that’s what the mystique of 11/11/11 is about.

I can’t say what tomorrow will bring, only that today seems to be a turning point, where energy is changing, for better or for worse. Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow is not yet here, but there is a desire in our hearts for what tomorrow should be. Inaction leads to action. Maybe not where we think it should happen, but where it is meant to happen. Let’s look at November 12 and the days ahead with open eyes, without expectation. Change is in order, and the time is now. Change will happen whether we want it to or not. Let’s take advantage of this energy and change things for the better, wherever it is needed!

Blessings…

(Today’s image, depicting the date, is original artwork by the author)

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Change is inevitable, and it’s okay

I’ve posted about this before. And somehow, it keeps creeping into my life every day: change. Something is always changing on me. It might be the color of shirt I want to wear, or the weather, or what people are talking about on the news, or my underwear. It’s what makes my life interesting. If everything stayed the same, day in and day out, I think I would go stark raving mad!
There are big changes going on right now. Everywhere you look, things are changing. People are happy about one change, upset about another, and tomorrow, it might be the other way around. I’m not going to talk about what the specific changes are, but how people seem to react to them.

We know that things change. We see it constantly, but somehow, we don’t really see it. When things change, it throws people off balance. It makes them question themselves and the happenings around them. Why did it change? Why can’t it be the way it always has? What am I going to do? There is a sense of loss of control.

For others, it’s the need to know. What changed when I wasn’t looking? Why did it change? Tell me what happened, so I have something to talk about!

We can’t control everything. We can’t know everything, and most of the time, it isn’t even our place to know. We somehow have an innate need to know and do, anyway. Even when we are fully aware and understand why a change is taking place, if enough people start questioning it, somehow, we start doubting ourselves and begin questioning, it too. Was there a motive? Is there something they left out? Why didn’t I know sooner? What am I going to tell people when they ask? My response: who cares?!

Some things aren’t meant for us to know, even if it’s what we think we want. People are entitled to privacy, and sometimes our need to know seems to trump our right to keep things to ourselves. If you are famous, you have no personal life. Everyone automatically becomes entitled to every little detail, whether it makes sense or not. If someone gets fired, we need to know why and what they did, so we can prevent it from happening again. Or is it because we need something to judge them by? Does it really matter that _______________’s husband hasn’t been seen with his wife in weeks, and now he’s been out at a club dancing with _____________’s girlfriend?

Sometimes things just change because it’s time. It’s that way most of the time, but so often, we don’t want to see it that way. There has to be a reason for every change, and unless we understand that reason, we don’t rest easy. It’s seems that it’s just the way we process change as humans. In reality, though, most changes, and the reasons for them, are none of our business. Why did cousin Nancy split up with her husband? Why didn’t my spouse tell me about the money she spent? Why did the community center cancel the dance classes? Why do eggs cost more this week? Where’s the Beef?

Despite the popular saying, “Change is good,” it sometimes isn’t. At least that’s how we see it. Change really is good, because it stops life from being lifeless. More importantly, change is there to make us pay attention and learn. There is always a lesson in change. There is always something good that comes out of every “bad” situation (you know how I feel about the word “bad.”) It’s just easier, and perhaps more entertaining, to dwell on the bad things than to try to find the good side of the situation. But if we are always focusing on the negative, or on specific events, we’re missing everything else there is to see. It is a distraction from reality.

Yes, things will change. They are supposed to. That’s okay. Life will go on anyway. We just need to find it in ourselves to be okay with it.

Blessings…