Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Change is inevitable, and it’s okay

I’ve posted about this before. And somehow, it keeps creeping into my life every day: change. Something is always changing on me. It might be the color of shirt I want to wear, or the weather, or what people are talking about on the news, or my underwear. It’s what makes my life interesting. If everything stayed the same, day in and day out, I think I would go stark raving mad!
There are big changes going on right now. Everywhere you look, things are changing. People are happy about one change, upset about another, and tomorrow, it might be the other way around. I’m not going to talk about what the specific changes are, but how people seem to react to them.

We know that things change. We see it constantly, but somehow, we don’t really see it. When things change, it throws people off balance. It makes them question themselves and the happenings around them. Why did it change? Why can’t it be the way it always has? What am I going to do? There is a sense of loss of control.

For others, it’s the need to know. What changed when I wasn’t looking? Why did it change? Tell me what happened, so I have something to talk about!

We can’t control everything. We can’t know everything, and most of the time, it isn’t even our place to know. We somehow have an innate need to know and do, anyway. Even when we are fully aware and understand why a change is taking place, if enough people start questioning it, somehow, we start doubting ourselves and begin questioning, it too. Was there a motive? Is there something they left out? Why didn’t I know sooner? What am I going to tell people when they ask? My response: who cares?!

Some things aren’t meant for us to know, even if it’s what we think we want. People are entitled to privacy, and sometimes our need to know seems to trump our right to keep things to ourselves. If you are famous, you have no personal life. Everyone automatically becomes entitled to every little detail, whether it makes sense or not. If someone gets fired, we need to know why and what they did, so we can prevent it from happening again. Or is it because we need something to judge them by? Does it really matter that _______________’s husband hasn’t been seen with his wife in weeks, and now he’s been out at a club dancing with _____________’s girlfriend?

Sometimes things just change because it’s time. It’s that way most of the time, but so often, we don’t want to see it that way. There has to be a reason for every change, and unless we understand that reason, we don’t rest easy. It’s seems that it’s just the way we process change as humans. In reality, though, most changes, and the reasons for them, are none of our business. Why did cousin Nancy split up with her husband? Why didn’t my spouse tell me about the money she spent? Why did the community center cancel the dance classes? Why do eggs cost more this week? Where’s the Beef?

Despite the popular saying, “Change is good,” it sometimes isn’t. At least that’s how we see it. Change really is good, because it stops life from being lifeless. More importantly, change is there to make us pay attention and learn. There is always a lesson in change. There is always something good that comes out of every “bad” situation (you know how I feel about the word “bad.”) It’s just easier, and perhaps more entertaining, to dwell on the bad things than to try to find the good side of the situation. But if we are always focusing on the negative, or on specific events, we’re missing everything else there is to see. It is a distraction from reality.

Yes, things will change. They are supposed to. That’s okay. Life will go on anyway. We just need to find it in ourselves to be okay with it.

Blessings…