Find your inner child

Yesterday, after a meeting with a client, the immaculate weather inspired me to run some errands and enjoy some daylight for a change. Getting out of my car and heading toward the office supply store in a nearby shopping center, my mind was focused on the list of items I needed to buy. As I approached the store entrance, a woman passed me on the sidewalk. Negotiating a turn around a nearby bush was her little boy, about three or four years old, running with a big shopping bag, which was trailing behind him like a big kite. The exuberance on his face was so pure and innocent. My first thought was what a wonderful photograph the scene would have made: a little boy with a big smile and an even bigger bag flying in the breeze he was making as he ran.

It made me think of my childhood, and how entertaining the littlest things could be. We could make something fun out of just about anything – an old baby blanket, some blocks, or a stack of blank paper and some crayons!

After making my purchases, I stopped in McDonald’s to get a bite to eat. At a nearby table, a young man and his little daughter were eating their lunch and exploring the Monopoly board and game pieces that came with their meal. They were both having the best time, not so much because of the game itself, but just being in each other’s presence. I’m not sure who was enjoying it more, the little girl or her father. Again, I thought what a wonderful picture it would make. Having a few game pieces myself, which I had no intention of using, I took them over and placed them on their table. The father’s smile said “thank you” as he returned his focus to his daughter so they could continue further on their big adventure, wherever that was in their minds.

It’s so easy to get caught up in the seriousness of adulthood, which makes us forget to have fun. It’s okay to do nothing. Or to go for a walk and enjoy the flowers. Or to pull out a stack of blank paper and some crayons and see where inspiration takes you. This is what life is about.

We have those snapshots in our mind – the memories of a simpler time. That doesn’t mean we can’t stop to take new pictures along our adult journey to save in the album of our mind. At the end of a highly spiritual and emotional week for me, I have the opportunity to thank a little boy and his mother, and a little girl and her father, for taking a brief instant to remind me that my inner child is still alive and well and living inside me. I think I’ll go outside and play!

Blessings…

Home is where the heart is?

I have lived in the Washington, DC area all my life. It’s a great city in which to live, and in all my travels, I have found very few places where I would consider moving, because I’ve always been quite content right where I am. Last week, I took a vacation in western North Carolina. Even though North Carolina has never been one of my favorite places, I found while traveling on business, that the western part of the state is a different place entirely. I’ve always loved the mountains, so with that, we planned a week in mountain Paradise.

It was perfect weather, and we found perfect hospitality everywhere we went. It reminded me how unfriendly a place Washington, DC can be. We make fun of how rude New Yorkers can be, but honestly, I am beginning to think that DC is worse. Then, when contrasted with the unbridled friendliness of the mountain folk (even the transplants!), it becomes that much more apparent.

I had such a nice time, that I have seriously contemplated digging up my deeply planted roots and moving. Most of my family has moved away, and it occurred to me that there really isn’t that much here for me anymore except too many unfriendly people and lots of traffic!

Needless to say, as I returned to reality, I have found myself with a dilemma on my hands. My life plan didn’t include a move just yet, and there are still things here at home that I have yet to do. Meanwhile, the hills are calling my name. I have decided to call it “mountain withdrawal.” I get this way whenever I come home from travel in the mountains, wherever that happens to be. I guess my heart is there.

After I returned home, I noticed a post by a friend online. It said, “Instead of wondering when your next vacation is, maybe you should set up a life you don’t need to escape from.” Boy did that hit home right at a weak moment! I was about ready to call in the Realty brigade (real estate – not “reality”) and start packing!

They say “home is where the heart is,” so I guess it’s time to think carefully. How do you handle the predicament when your home is in one place and your heart is in another? That’s where I have been for the past few days. So after shedding a few tears, and realizing that picking up and moving on a moment’s notice isn’t practical, I decided to wait and meditate on it. I knew the answer would come.

Today, someone who has been quietly hiding on a certain social networking site for several years, finally posted something for the first time. And boy was it a doozey! And more so because it was posted by the most important person in my life:

“People travel great distances and spend a lot of money trying to find peace. Well no matter where they go, “there they are” with the same consciousness. Turn within to find lasting peace, and you will have it with you no matter where you are.”

How true, and how appropriate. I suppose someone knew how much this was eating at me, and decided to take unusual steps to say what I needed to hear in a way that I would hear it! I don’t need to retreat to the hills to find peace. It might be easier to find it there, but that doesn’t mean that peace isn’t right here, wherever “here” happens to be. In a crowd, among the chaos, or on a mountaintop, peace of mind is there if you allow it into your presence. We push peace away instead of welcoming it in. And I guess I’ve been doing that a lot lately.

The mountains will be there, long after I’m gone. I may still move there, but when the time is right, whenever that is – next week, next year, next lifetime. Meanwhile, being here, in the armpit of suburbia, really isn’t so bad. Heck, it’s all I’ve ever known. If I’m not used to it now, I don’t think I’ll ever be! “Mountain withdrawal” ain’t gonna get the best of me, at least not today!

Blessings!

Find that silver lining in every cloud

In our day-to-day lives, it’s easy to lose track of how much impact we have on our own life and the lives of other people through the things we say and do. Or don’t say or don’t do. I participated in a discussion group this evening, and one of the topics discussed was the power of “I am” – how using the words “I am” creates reality in our lives, even if it isn’t really true: “I’m feeling worse,” “I am terrible at remembering names,” etc. The conversation evolved into a discussion about death and grieving, and how the words and thoughts we put into a situation manifest in our lives.

I’m not going to go into all the details, but the gist of the conversation was dealing with grief, and how sometimes the words we say or the actions we take, or the assumptions we make, have an influence on how we deal with the grief process and our ability to move on. Whenever someone close dies, it is a natural process to experience grief. Each person grieves differently, and it takes differing periods of time to recover. Some people never fully recover from their loss. Others seem to bounce back fairly easily. I think the key is in the words and thoughts we put into the situation. If we tell ourselves that we should be miserable because someone died, we are going to be miserable. If we tell ourselves that we’re never going to meet someone new or have another relationship, we won’t. If we keep the memory of the person alive as if they are still standing next to us and sleeping in our bed, we aren’t making room for what is next.

Meanwhile, our well-intentioned loved ones tell us how sorry they are, and how every day gets better. There is no reason to apologize, and honestly, when someone feels like their world is falling apart around them, the “getting better every day” promise seems a little empty, however true it might be. Perhaps it is better just to acknowledge the situation and ask the person how they are doing, or to let them know you are thinking about them, or to offer help with something they need. This puts positive energy into a negative situation, and makes it easier for everyone to move in the right direction: onward and upward!

My general observation is that when someone loses a significant person in their life, whether it be a spouse figure or a child, the grieving process usually leads to some sort of profound experience that the person would not have ever had otherwise. Maybe someone was a housewife for 30 years, and then after being widowed, discovered the pleasures of traveling and seeing the world as an independent person. Maybe after keeping the candle burning for a deceased spouse, someone finally allows a new relationship (the one that could never happen!) to blossom.

I think too often, we feel like we have to build an imaginary wall around ourselves when we lose someone. It’s like drawing a line in the sand, that can’t be crossed at any cost, even though the wind can blow it away almost effortlessly. It’s as if crossing that imaginary line will betray the person we love. But in reality, the line is just that: imaginary. We place limits on ourselves. How many of us would really want someone to hold onto us that strongly if we were gone? Most of us would want our loved ones to move on with their life – appreciate our purpose and celebrate the time we had, and then go on to make new memories. Some of us are smart enough to say so while we have the chance. Others just assume it will happen, yet still, there are so many who still aren’t willing to step over that line.

Eventually we have to cross that line, either out of circumstances, or out of necessity. Once we discover that we can cross that imaginary line, it instantly disappears. It’s like a whole new world opens to us. Yes, we still love the person we lost, but suddenly, we are no longer a slave to that loss. It isn’t the person’s death that causes the grieving, it’s the disruption of the routine we have become accustomed to. This happens, even if a relationship between two living people breaks up, or when we lose a job, or a home.

It’s the absence of the person (or the job or the home) that makes us feel grief. It’s the absence of “normal.” Once we step across that line and realize that the world doesn’t come crashing down around us when we do, we are able to create a new “normal.” It’s not the same as it was before, but it’s normal, just the same. As we adjust to the new normal, we start seeing and accepting that things really do get better every day. Some people take baby steps, some are brave enough to take leaps, but the destination is always toward new happiness.

So when you have an experience of loss in your life, remember that the loss itself is the hardest step. Once you have accepted and reconciled the loss that has happened, the rest can be as easy as you want it to be. The key is want. You can manifest whatever happiness or unhappiness you want. Your words and thoughts create the state of “heaven” or “hell” in your life, and your thoughts can get you past any obstacles that were created previously.

Rather than thinking about what isn’t (the things you can’t change), think about what can be (the things you can change). Life is always full of possibilities, whether we choose to see them or not. If you assume the possibilities don’t exist, they won’t exist for you. Someone else will take that opportunity and benefit from it, leaving you to wallow in your misery. If you accept that anything is possible, you open the door to whatever opportunity might come your way. No judgement, no doubt, no misery. Just what is.

I love to tell the story about the sugar packet, and with that story I will close. In life, my mother was a worrier. She could take the tiniest little molehill and make it into a mountain. Things hardly ever turned out as badly as she expected, but she worried just the same. I would spend time thinking about how miserable she made herself over the years, doubting her own capabilities, and doubting the situations around her. One day, I was in a restaurant, and I noticed that the packets of sugar in the container on the table each had words of wisdom. One notable sugar packet made me think of my mother and her tendency to worry. I don’t remember exactly how it was worded, but here’s the idea: “Each morning when you wake up, you can be happy, or you can be unhappy. The choice is yours.”

We make our happiness or unhappiness by the words we think and speak, and the choices we make. No one outside of ourselves can give or take happiness from us. Happiness is something that is created within. If we look at our world with open eyes and open minds, and remember this wisdom, why would we ever need to experience anything but happiness, even when our situation isn’t as ideal as we’d like it to be.

Every cloud has a silver lining. Spend a little more time looking deeper for that silver lining, and less time worrying about all the grey clutter that surrounds it! You’ll be glad you did.

Blessings…

Think carefully

Did you ever have one of those days where things just don’t seem quite right? You have everything you ever wanted, nothing wrong with anything, but still, something seems missing. I had one of those days yesterday. One of unexplained apathy and discontent. Not to the point of clinical depression, mind you, but a little unsettling, just the same.

It took a while to figure out, but last night, while I was trying to get to sleep, I had a revelation: everything is the same. We need change in our lives to keep things interesting. I work at home, and I travel for business. At least I usually do. Lately there hasn’t been much travel needed. So I sit in my house all day long, not seeing much of the world. Last night, I was thinking about where I’d like to be: the beach? The desert? Asleep? Anywhere but here? The mountains. Yes, the mountains! What a refreshing change it would be to see hills and trees and breathe the fresh air for a few days without the constant glow of my computer keeping me company! No one calling or sending e-mails asking for silly things, or not calling at all. I started thinking about places in the mountains, and I suddenly felt comforted. I didn’t even have to go there. All I had to do was know that it was there waiting for me, and it didn’t seem so important anymore. Wow what a vacation that was!

Yesterday, a friend posted a funny picture on Facebook. It was a 50s-style cartoonish picture of a woman who said, “I don’t have hot flashes. I have short, private vacations in the tropics!” She takes a less-than-optimal experience and found a more positive way of expressing it. This is sort of what I experienced in the mountains. Transforming a bland, almost negative thought into a positive experience, just by thinking about it. (Please don’t write to tell me that hot flashes and wishing I was in the mountains are completely different situations. I think I figured that one out already!)

Another Facebook friend provided another thought to ponder on, complaining about being poor. This friend just bought a new computer and got a new car last year, but she sees herself as poor. Maybe she doesn’t have what other people have, but she has a lot more than many others. She isn’t poor. She is just thinking poor. What we think about is drawn to us, and becomes what we create. There are people who are financially rich who have no friends, or much to show for their wealth except a pile of money. There are others who have practically nothing, who are the richest people on earth, because they can find happiness in what blessings they do have. We spend so much time thinking about what we don’t have, and very little on what we do. Funny how that works.

Everything begins in the mind. Every experience we have. Every idea that has ever been acted on. It all started with a thought. Our thoughts create our reality. It is our thoughts that create our perception about situations, and it is the same thoughts that can dig us out of them.

So when you find something in your life that isn’t quite in line with your expectations, think about it. What are you doing to cause that perception? What can you do to change that perception? Think about it!

Blessings…

To Serve Man

Today, I was thinking about our purpose in this life. If there is any one answer, it is about service. In one of my last posts, I mentioned that if we aren’t part of the solution, we are part of the problem. By serving our fellow humans, we are part of a solution – one of making the world a better and happier place.

How often do we go about our business, hardly acknowledging the existence of another soul unless we have to? How many people do we pass on the street without as much as a smile or a nod? How often do we see someone in distress, and assume that someone else will help them. Our nation is in turmoil in many ways because of attitudes like this: Other people’s problems are other people’s problems!

Sadly, this is not true. We must all inhabit this planet together, and like it or not, the world’s problems are our problems. Our neighbor’s problems are our problems. Our differences aren’t bad, they are just different. We might be able to get by with ignoring or criticizing our fellow humans, but sooner or later, karma is going to throw these problems right in our face if we don’t acknowledge and accept our role as a part of a one great population working and living together to improve our experience.

Service does not mean being a slave. It doesn’t mean that you have to risk your own safety and security. But if you see someone experiencing a challenge, think of the Golden Rule. What would you want someone else to do if they saw you in the same situation? I often see people going through the challenges and dilemmas in their life, and they start reaching out for answers. What they don’t usually realize is that the answers are usually right there in their hearts, but they are either too distracted, or too self-absorbed to realize the truth that is staring them in the face.

So when you are having a challenge, my advice is to take a step back and look at the situation objectively. Pretend you are watching a movie on Lifetime network or perhaps the news. You are an innocent bystander, observing someone else’s circumstances. What advice would you give that person? What makes the most sense for that person’s highest good and that of everyone concerned? There’s your answer. It may not be the easy answer, but it will be the right one every time, as long as you don’t let your personal fear, worry and doubt start getting in the way.

Back in the early 60’s the science fiction television series The Twilight Zone featured an episode based on a short story by Damon Knight, where a race of beings from Mars came to Earth with a delegation of peacemakers. Their stated goal was to create an alliance with the people of Earth, and share in civilization across planets. People were going on trips in spaceships to a far off planet to visit, learn and share. As a gift to the people of Earth, the Martians presented a book, written in their language.

 

Scientists did their best to translate the book, but all they could determine was that the title was To Serve Man. A noble title and a noble idea: Be of service. How comforting to know that our neighbors in space wanted to help us on our path.

After this alliance had been created, the scientists started slowly breaking the code. Suddenly they realized that the book was not a peace-keeping treatise, but rather a cookbook! “To Serve Man” was not about the aliens being of service to us (how selfish for us to assume so!), but rather our people literally being served as a meal for someone else! Our visions of peace and love were replaced by fear as the people of earth realized that they were being herded to Mars to ensure the survival of a race of aliens!

Of course, we aren’t going to be eaten by Martians. But our fear, doubt and worry about other people’s intentions can eat at us and destroy our willingness to be of service to each other. We become so focused on our selfish needs (like expecting others to be of service to us), that we lose focus on the fact that we aren’t much help to anyone else without being forced into it!
 

If the idea of being of service scares you, start small. Offer a smile or a “Hello.” If you see a person or family in need, and you’re concerned about giving them money, buy a gift card from a grocery store or restaurant. If your neighbor is having health issues, offer to help around the house, or cut the grass, or run an errand. If a family member is struggling with unruly children, offer a shoulder to cry on. These are little things that add up.

As we start accumulating random acts of kindness, we slowly change the energy of our people, our community and our world. It doesn’t take a lot, and the burden should not be great on any one person. Do what you can. We rely on Divine Order to help us, but instead of looking to God or someone else to make it happen, be a part of it. We’re all part of a greater whole, and those little gifts we give to serve our fellow humans is Divine Order to someone who is in need! We tend to look outside of ourselves, often to God, to supply what is needed. Too often we fail to recognize that the “God” we are looking for, and what is most needed, is the love and kindness of a fellow human being. Sometimes our turn comes around to provide that kindness. Is that so bad?

When is the last time you saw “service with a smile?” People’s “bad energy” makes us feel bad, and we spread it around even more, like a flu. Give your own service with a smile, even in the smallest ways, and it will become just as contagious, but in a good way!

Blessings to you.

If you aren’t part of the solution...

“If you aren’t part of the solution, you’re part of the problem.” This is an expression that a friend shared with me many years ago, which I have incorporated into my existence. I heard someone else say it this morning, and I started thinking a little deeper about what it means.

In my last post, I talked about standing up for yourself. This is along the same lines, except maybe in an opposite way. We find so many people complaining about things they aren’t happy about, things they are angry about, things they are afraid of. You name it. I’m not talking about expressing a legitimate grievance. I’m talking about the griping, whining and moaning we do when things don’t go the way we want them to. Most of us don’t have to dig very deep to find something to complain about. Some are better at it than others. Some feel like their life has no meaning unless they have something to complain about!

But have you ever thought about what complaining accomplishes? It’s like putting gasoline on a fire, feeding it, and allowing it to grow even more out of control. Like gossip, it spreads like a virus, attaching to and exasperating anyone who might be inclined to embrace the sentiment, and annoying everyone else who doesn’t.

Thinking about this, it makes sense not to complain. If it isn’t helping resolve the situation, what good does it do to complain? I guess a good question to ask yourself or someone else when they complain is, “Okay, if you don’t like it, what are you doing to make it better?” If there isn’t a good, positive answer, then it’s probably time to think of a new strategy.

Someone else I know has a friend who posts lots of information about abandoned and abused animals. Lots and lots of information, unsolicited. My friend observed how little it accomplishes, and how annoying it can be. This developed into a conversation where another person wondered how people would know that these injustices were happening unless someone told them about it. Another person observed that it glamorizes it, in a way. It gives the abuser unexpected attention – a reward, in a way – which encourages them to continue doing it. Good points. All of them.

But what are any of these people doing to actually make the situation better? Complaining, or aggrandizing a negative situation, exacerbates the anger in the person who is upset. Without offering a solution, it only serves to strengthen the frustration it is meant to address. It then upsets other people, many or most of whom have no control over the situation. How does complaining contribute to a solution to the stated problem? In this example, whether they are complaining about abuse, or complaining about the complaints, or finding reasons why it’s exacerbating the situation, it isn’t helping resolve the situation. None of the people in this interaction ever offered ideas on how they could prevent the abuse. And so it continues…

I use this example, but you see it in many areas of discussion: politics, how people raise their children, what someone said. what someone didn’t say, someone’s attitude, ad infinitum…

If you aren’t part of the solution, you are part of the problem. Complaining about something without making an effort to find a resolution is only perpetuating the problem and passing it on to the next person. If you find the need to complain, offer at least one suggestion on what can be done to resolve the circumstances so that the complaint has constructive meaning. Better yet, offer just the suggestion and don’t complain at all. The effect will be the same, without the negativity. At a minimum, you are showing some effort to identify with the problem instead of just making it grow, and you’ll find that people are going to be more willing and inspired to help do something about it.

More importantly, if you can’t offer a way to improve a situation, don’t complain at all. What good does it do to complain about something that can’t be changed? You can complain until you are blue in the face, but it still isn’t going to change anything. You are wasting your energy, and worse yet, you are probably wasting the time of the people who have to listen to it. Maybe it’s better to just learn to live with until you find a way to change it.

This may seem harsh, but it is true. Don’t shove a spoon farther into the garbage disposal, just because you can’t figure out how to get it out. All you’ll have is a ruined spoon, and likely a broken disposal, too! Leave it for someone who is better equipped to fix it.

If nothing else, learning to stay silent until you can find a way to be constructive will turn the energy around for you. When you accept a situation for what it is, rather than fighting it – even if it’s something you don’t like – you tend to have a better attitude, and can adjust to the situation more easily, with less stress. And it might just give your mind the opportunity to open up and be inspired with a way to resolve it after all!

The Law of Attraction works in strange ways. Our world has done a fantastic job figuring out how it works in negative ways. It seems to come to us so naturally. Let’s take that same energy and turn it around so it goes in a positive direction. It takes a little more effort and mindfulness, but when we do, everything changes for the better, even when it doesn’t change at all.

Blessings…

Don’t settle

Hi, it’s me again. I just realized that most of my recent posts, including today’s, have been about holidays. Holidays teach us lessons in many ways, but this blog is about learning every day, so I’m back…

This time I’m writing about being strong in your convictions. So often, we get our shorts in a knot over something someone said or did that rubbed us the wrong way. We have an idea in our head the way things should be, but so often, we set wisdom aside for what is convenient. We let people talk to us badly. We let time slip by without calling our friends and family. We settle for the job we have because it seems too much trouble to find something better. There are so many things we settle for.

How many times have you heard of people who have been mistreated at their jobs (or in their personal lives)? They work for years, and are cast aside in favor of the manager-du-jour (or the “other man/woman”) who comes in, messes everything up, gets paid a fortune, and makes everyone’s life miserable because he or she doesn’t know or care how things should work. It happens over and over again. Sometimes it gets out of hand and they seek legal advice. “Yes. We’ll take them to court, and then they’ll treat us right!” On the other hand, how many people don’t bother, because they are afraid of rocking the boat, or they think they’ll get fired (or abused more) for acting up?

Even when they get the conviction to do something about it, such as taking legal action, the panic kicks in. “They know we’re up to something.” “He’s watching everything I do.” “What are they going to do to us if they find out?” “What if they retaliate?” The fear of the unknown fuels the fire. Sometimes people crack under the pressure. They cancel the legal action, or they go and confess their sins to the ones who have been mistreating them all along, making it easier for the “enemy” to prevail.

Sometimes it’s the money. Suddenly, the lawyers are talking about huge sums of money, and people don’t know how to handle it. They start counting their chickens, not thinking about the few feathers they could end up with when it’s all over. (By the way, when a lawyer is discussing figures with lots of zeroes, you always get to keep the zero part!)

Sometimes it’s the anger. I’ve seen folks lose their jobs (or their relationships) because they were so angry at the way they are treated, that they refused to do anything, instead of going through the proper channels, because it was easier.

So what’s my point? (I do have one, just keep in mind that these examples won’t apply to every situation)

• First, step back and take a good look at the situation. Ask yourself some serious questions, and give serious answers. Did someone really do something wrong, or did you just take it that way? Are you blowing the situation out of proportion because of your emotions, or is this really a serious situation that needs to be dealt with? Look at the situation through a stranger’s eyes, and think about what you would tell them to do. Be objective and realistic, and not just reacting out of emotions. Emotions distort our sense of reality. If your anger over a situation causes you to ignore your own role in what has happened, reality is going to come crashing around you quickly.
• Understand your role in what happened. Did you get turned down for a promotion because of nepotism, or because you weren’t living up to your responsibilities in your current role?
• Pick your poison. Let the little things roll off your back. Save your energy for the big issues. We can’t fight every battle, but if we are being harmed, or subjected to real mistreatment, we shouldn’t take it lying down. Unfortunately, it can be hard to tell what’s big and what isn’t!
• Stand by your convictions. If you have been mistreated, by a spouse, by an employer, by a friend, whatever, you have the right to stand up for yourself and ask for justice.
• Get professional help. You can’t always fix things on your own. Find a reliable, respected professional to help you, whether it’s a lawyer, a doctor, the police, a psychiatrist, a plumber – whatever the situation dictates! Rely on the professional to do their job – don’t try to do their job for them.
• Be honest – with yourself and others. Exaggeration and lies don’t help your cause, or anyone else’s.
• Don’t back down. Airing dirty laundry is never a comfortable thing, but sometimes that’s the only way to get things cleaned up. If you are in the right, the laws of the universe will be on your side. You might not get everything you want, but if you don’t try, you’ll just get more of what you’ve been getting all along.
• Know what you want. Are you looking for an apology? Are you looking for what you thought you should have had all along? Are you looking for financial compensation? Are you looking for criminal punishment? A divorce? Is what you are looking for fair and reasonable, or is it simply trying to satisfy your ego? Focus on the circumstances, and what you think is a fair result, and don’t get carried away with the possibilities. In most cases, you can’t have it all, and it isn’t reasonable to expect it. Sometimes a public apology offers much more healing than a bank account full of money for something that gets swept under the rug.
• Don’t have unreasonable expectations. If you don’t have expectations, you can’t be disappointed. Even if you walk away with nothing, you still have your dignity and you know you gave your best effort. Karma will deal with the rest.
• Be responsible. You have a responsibility to yourself, and to the situation. Don’t let your actions hurt others or yourself, lest you become the “bad guy.” You wouldn’t want someone else to do that to you. Again, Karma will deal with the rest.
• Be willing to compromise, within reason. Don’t be stubborn. It isn’t about you. It’s about resolving a wrong action. Being difficult only causes resistance.
• Act with love, not anger or fear. If you act with love, you can’t cause any more pain than has already been experienced, and it can transmute a situation in your favor. “You catch more flies with sugar than with vinegar!”
• Forgive. I didn’t say “Be willing to forgive,” or “Try to forgive.” Being willing and doing are entirely different things. Even if someone (including you) can’t see the error of their ways, know that they are learning their lessons in their own way, just like you are. Holding a situation in your heart will only weigh you down. We all grow and progress in our own time, but we always do. Holding the past against someone holds you back with it.
• Above all, keep an even mind. If you let yourself get wound around the axle over your condition, all you’re going to get is run over, and that isn’t helping anyone.
• Don’t settle. By this, I don’t mean not to accept a legal settlement. I mean, if you have been mistreated, don’t be afraid to stand up for yourself and demand what is best for all concerned. If you are in a harmful situation, the status quo is rarely the best choice. Even if the odds seem against you, at least there are chances. Your chances are zero if you stand by and do nothing, no matter what the situation is.

Blessings…

A time for love…

Happy New Year! Yeah, I know, New Year’s Day was almost 6 weeks ago. So, I haven’t been writing much. That doesn’t mean I haven’t been keeping myself busy. They say nature abhors a vacuum, and even with a recent lull in my busy job, my day is still filled to capacity with one thing or another that needs to be done. And as with any busy activity, sometimes we need to stop and examine where we are and where we need to go.

Next Tuesday is Valentine’s Day. Like Christmas, and a few other occasions, it’s a perfect time for us to step off the treadmill and take a little time for ourselves and the people we love. I think that is why most of us look forward to holidays. It’s a time to regroup and relax, and just be.

A friend who facilitates a healing prayer group on Tuesday nights cancelled his class next week because of Valentine’s Day. He wants the members to spend time with their families and loved ones. What a beautiful gesture! We normally see cancellations because of bad weather or illness, but how often do you see an activity cancelled so you can do something uplifting for yourself? Yes, sending prayers for healing is important, but frankly, you can do that from anywhere, as long as your mind is in the right place. This group has a sense of togetherness, so no matter what is going on, at 7:00 pm Eastern time, every Tuesday, they are together, even if they are all sitting in completely different places! This Tuesday will be no different, except that they will be someplace special, sharing that healing energy of love with someone special.

There is a lesson in this. There really aren’t words to describe the action of giving up an act of love in order to express an even deeper act of love. It’s all love, and it’s all good, and it makes me happy to know that the people I know are in that kind of energy and consciousness! The love they will be sharing is what creates the healing they pray for in the first place, so the result may be even greater than if they had gathered as planned.

So this Tuesday, no matter where you are, or who you are with, remember the gift of love. Share it in an appropriate way with your friends, your family, your significant other, the people in your thoughts and the strangers on the street. We can’t always be where we want to be, but we’re always in the right place. And wherever that is, we have the ability to stop and share a moment of love, peace and healing and send it out to whomever and wherever it is needed.

Set your clocks, your appointment calendar, or your mind to pause for a moment at 7:00 pm on Valentine’s Day. Thank God for the blessings you have, and share that blessing, in your mind or in your actions, with your loved ones and with the world we live in. You will be amazed what this simple effort will accomplish.

Blessings of love….